As February 2011 comes to a final close, here’s your Oscars / Charlie Sheen wrap up. Last night, ABC was home to the 83rd annual Academy Awards. That’s right… 83 years of closing streets in Hollywood that could have nothing less to do with the damn event taking place on Highland Avenue. But I digress. More notably, gridlock or not, the Oscars telecast didn’t do as well as in recent years.
Entertainment Weekly reported this morning that “the show was down 7 percent in the preliminary numbers among adults 18-49, despite the Academy picking youth-targeted hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco to draw younger demos. The telecast delivered a 24.6 household rating and a 14.5 household number among adults 18-49.” I’m not sure what numbers the network was hoping for, but let’s face it, the opening of the show was less than impressive. Their monologue was filled with awkward pauses, failed punchlines, poor comedic timing, all the while riddled with a lack of chemistry between the two as they fumbled through their bits. As far as I’m concerned, Hathaway could have worked a little harder on her joke delivery and skipped the 19th outfit change and Franko – you silly boy – could have waited until we at least got to the best actor award before he got visually stoned.
That aside, here now is a list of your winners minus the treacherous acceptance speeches that seem to drone on forever. I have to quote my father who, after hearing Natalie Portman’s acceptance speech, exclaimed, “She forgot to thank the guy who cleaned the bathrooms!”
BEST PICTURE: The King’s Speech
BEST ACTOR: Colin Firth, The King’s Speech
BEST ACTRESS: Natalie Portman, Black Swan
BEST DIRECTOR: Tom Hooper, The King’s Speech
BEST SONG: “We Belong Together,” Toy Story 3, Randy Newman
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christian Bale, The Fighter
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Melissa Leo, The Fighter
Now let’s take one last look this month at our real metal trophy – Charlie Sheen. This morning, the actor appeared on two morning shows. Both ABC’s “Good Morning America” and NBC’s “Today” show aired segments of their involved Sheen interviews within the first two hours of the program. In case you missed it, our party boy is demanding MORE money to come back to CBS sitcom, “Two and a Half Men” next season. Being one of the highest paid actors at a current rate of $1.8 million per episode, he’s now requesting $3 million per shoot. When questioned about the raise, Sheen replied, “Yeah, look what they put me through.” He also divulged his intent to sue his bosses saying, “Wouldn’t you?” Now don’t worry, good ‘ol Charlie hasn’t forgotten that his image may have been a tad tarnished lately because of his behavior. Let’s check the transcripts and see what he had to say about it reflecting on how people view him now. “What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party. It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards just look like droopy-eyed armless children.”
Now here’s my favorite part. Drug talk with Charlie Sheen. When the topic was broached as to whether or not he was still doing drugs, he replied, “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” Wow! This means, we might actually hear somebody say in an emergency room, “Quick, I think this guy Charlie Sheened! Look, his face is already starting to melt!”
(Image from Reuters)Tags: ABC, Academy Awards, Charlie Sheen, Colin Firth, Natalie Portman, NBC, Oscars, The King’s Speech