I’ll Have A Vodka Sunshine And Step On It: NYC Outdoor Booze Hotspots

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Let’s see if we can make this any sweeter. First you add one part New York City, then a splash of your favorite liquored beverage, and shake well together with the great outdoors. The only thing that could enhance this urban utopia is garnishing the mix with a complementary hooker.

Indubitably, New York – the borough of Manhattan in particular – has arguably some of the hottest party spots the world over. Recently, the Huffington Post released a list of the city’s best spots to soak up some rays while downing a cool one.

First up, we have the Russian Turkish Baths located at 268 East 10th Street. Huff calls this one “by far the strangest outdoor drinking spot on the list, and probably the most charming.” They recommend you start downstairs in the club’s “dilapidated maze of dry saunas and steam rooms” then you can Trepak your way up to the rooftop courtyard for “a couple cheap Russian beers” in the company of “a bunch of bulbous 80-year-old Russian men.” Hmm… That aught to make you want to kick your legs out (or hurl).

Next we have the James Hotel, Roof Bar located at 27 Grand Street. Considering the ‘grandness’ of this posh little hotspot, it’s address is quite appropriate. What’s so special here? Well, not often does a lounge actually feel “sharp [and] sexy.” These are human qualities for those who forgot. “So if you don’t choke at the thought of $20 for a glass of champagne, then this spot is a perfect little secret, especially for an impressive date.”

Now we have Trestle on Tenth. One guess what avenue it’s on. Sure, nestled in at 242 10th Avenue, this “Swiss-inspired brasserie in West Chelsea isn’t renowned for thrilling service, but that’s okay…” You will be sipping your wine in their “enchanted garden” which Huff says is “perfect for the ‘courting’ portion of your springtime mating rituals.” Yeah… maybe if I was a Chrysanthemum. Didn’t work out too well for our buddies Adam and Eve either. I say keep the mating out of the garden unless you pollinate.

Feel like having some alphabet soup? Well, Boxcar Lounge is a Lower East Side dive tucked in the neighborhood referred to locally as Alphabet City. This one is at 168 Avenue B. Any of this making you thirsty yet? Doing a quick shot… be right back.

Penultimately on Huff’s list is Mé Bar found at 17 W. 32nd Street. “Located in the heart of Koreatown, the Empire State [building] practically breaths down your neck while you enjoy your beer in this spacious, simple, absurdly well-kept secret.” Spoiler alert regarding that big secret: This stately hideaway is at the top of the La Quinta Inn. I believe the password to get in is when they ask, “How many in your party?”, simply reply, “New York.”

Lastly we finish out the disclosing in my old neighborhood; Chelsea Brewing @ Chelsea Piers. You’ll find this shack attack at 59 Chelsea Piers butting up to the ripples of the Hudson River. According to Huff, this spot is unique in weeding out the “fuster-cluck of human magpies and unfortunate tanning practices that you’ll confront at the formerly hip, now invaded, Frying Pan.”

I’m sure you know of many other fine places to drink in the city. I wonder if an alcoholic homeless man would laugh at our designated drinking area list? Until next time, bottoms up! (Hey… that doubles as a Chelsea joke!)

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