Italian Friars Pray Bible Thief Gets Diarrhea

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FLORENCE, Italy ~ (La Stampa/ NBC New York) ~ If God is listening to a group of Franciscan friars then a certain Bible thief will get a case of the runs.

The members of a Florence religious order are praying for a most unusual vengeance to be suffered by whoever stole a rare edition of the Holy Bible from the lectern inside the 15th-century church of San Salvadore al Monte. To make matters even worse a replacement Bible, donated by one of the church’s worshipers, also turned up missing, according to the newspaper La Stampa.

“We pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the shits,” said the friars, in a written note posted inside the church, where Renaissance artist Michelangelo once worshiped. Such a condition, the friars continued, “might encourage him to carry out no further thefts.” The holy men hope their own transgressions of praying for vengeance and using profanity will be forgiven in the eyes of the Lord. “It is not exactly clean language,” one friar told the paper, “but we couldn’t put up with it any longer. The Lord and the faithful will understand.”

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