Lindsay Lohan’s Super Screw Ups Lead To Superman?


After doing a little snooping – as it turns out – Lindsay Lohan did in fact have enough cash on hand to purchase the necklace in question on the day of the alleged robbery. The now infamous jewelery piece cost a reported $2500 according to legal documents (which I guess are fancy reporter words synonymous with “price tag”).

Not only did Lohan have enough dough to cover the pretty little bling, TMZ further reported that “sources connected to the case [say] Lindsay had around $6,000 in cash with her because she had been eyeing a ring in the store, which was going for $3,400. Lindsay had gone to the store several times previously, debating whether to buy it.” So, for those doing the math… Yes, she could have purchased both items legitimately rather than giving herself the ‘ol five finger discount.

Now let’s check in really quickly with Hollywood Law regarding celebrities and see what one’s punishment should be if you’re a cracked out fame whore… Ought, just as I suspected. Turns out the law calls for a rewarding possible upcoming role in a new Superman movie. What?!

Pending felony charge or not, it was reported once again by TMZ earlier today that “Lindsay’s people have had multiple phone conversations within the last few weeks with the people behind the new ‘Superman’ reboot. We’re told Lindsay is up for a role in the flick — and while it isn’t Lois Lane, we hear it would be a ‘major character.’ “ Just imagine what would have happened if she got coked up, stole the necklace, and ran over a baby while leaving. She probably would have gotten her own talk show.

Warner Brothers had no comment. Awe, what happened WB? Too much kryptonite to explain your decision that even Lex Luthor would think is a stupid idea? We need to stop blaming celebrities for their dumb-ass actions after a while. Now I’m not saying they should be exonerated from guilt when crime is committed… but how are we to expect somebody to change when they are constantly treated like they are above the law? Must I call on Pavlov to explain classical conditioning to the Los Angeles County Judicial system? Lohan, at this point, is nothing more than a drooling dog. And Charlie Sheen isn’t even a symbol of this theory anymore. That bast**d is actually drooling! If one is consistently led to believe that the law doesn’t apply to them, why would you think they will function in society as if it does.

If you ask me, many people had a hand in stealing this necklace. Lindsay was just the troubled hand that grabbed it. If I were her defense attorney, I would tell the court it was a minor calamity. It accidentally stuck to my client’s spray tan. She didn’t know she took it. Now, let’s do some new movie role shopping… shall we?

(Image from ScreenRant)

Tags: , , , , ,

Comments are closed.