Men’s Guide: How to Approach a Woman You Would Like to Sleep With

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Hello again, gentlemen. Today I’m going to be discussing an increasingly disturbing strategy that many of you have become accustomed to employing when attempting to approach a woman you don’t yet know, but would like to sleep with. I call it The Slink.

Here’s the scenario: You spot a woman you find adequately attractive, and decide you’re ready to wow her. The only problem is you’re a little insecure about walking right up to her. The solution? You opt to slink if you will, leading with your shoulder, over to where she is standing. With your right shoulder nearly touching her left, the majority of you will then cock your head and say something remarkably charming like, “You come here often?”

I understand you view this as a less threatening strategy for approaching women. What I need you to understand, is that we view it as mind-blowingly bizarre, and just a skosh reminiscent of the behavior one might associate with a sociopath.

Because you’re not coming from a location that is directly in our line of vision, your approach gives the impression that you’re sneaking up on us, and trying to trick us into maintaining a conversation. Aside from insinuating that you’re insecure, this strategy is underhanded, and I think we can all agree that’s wrong.

Your best bet would be to approach from a spot that is located diagonally from where she is standing, because your instincts are right in one sense. Approaching directly can be interpreted as threatening, but attempting to surprise her into liking you isn’t going to get anyone anywhere good. A nice middle ground is to come from a location just off center. It’s less intimidating for both of you and allows her to clearly see you coming from across the room, giving her ample room to jet if she feels the need. And really, boys, that’s all there is to it.

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