Yale Scores Poorly With Liquor Sex Party


Sharpen your number #2 pencils and hold on to your desks… Yale University is currently being investigated after some 50 individuals attended an invite-only party on campus that may have crossed sexual lines in a scholarly fashion.

That’s right! Finally some fun on New Haven’s most prominent campus (of course the operative ingredient being the shedding of caps and gowns). The Yale Daily News reported that “the Yale Police Department has opened an investigation into events surrounding a Feb. 19 pre-tap naked party held by the Pundits, Yale’s senior prank society.” The catalyst of this investigation stems from an interview conducted by the YPD with at least one student that claims “a possible sexual assault at the party.” But knowing this bunch, an uninvited Harvard student is also considered an assault on their precious party. So… just sayin’.

In a nutshell, here is what officials have gathered so far after piecing together the multiple versions of the party. The invited students showed up in costume and then were told to disrobe half way through. This is coupled with the fact that there are also reports of underage drinking. In college? What? Say it isn’t so! So what would provoke students to show up at all? Well, apparently, they were told that being in attendance was part of a ritual in joining the Pundits group.

Now so far, booze and birthday suits sound fine to me. But then, it does get a tad sloppy. The report goes on to allege that “after the attendees disrobed, several of them were forced to kiss each other by members of the Pundits, according to the allegations cited in the report [and] one male attendee reportedly had a penis forcibly pushed against his face.” Wait… I thought that was called freshman year? Relax… I’m kidding.

This of course is an ongoing investigation that detectives are still working on. Personally, I do not agree with the concept of hazing and applaud schools with a zero tolerance against any tradition that intimidates or humiliates another individual for the sheer enjoyment of the neanderthals running it. Especially when there are sexual circumstances. How about the next time you macho guys think it’s all in heterosexual fun to make a scared freshman strip down while you shove your crotch in his face… and instead, simply be a man, let him go, come out of that deep closet you’re in, and just f**k each other already. Then you’re sure to have a great “climax” to your party without hurting others.

(Image from WCBS)

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